Day 85: Art and revealing myself

Friday afternoon we (the new MBBs - Brett and I, the graduating MBBs from CP rail, their Sponsor, and the LSI team) went to Raw Canvas down in Yaletown for some lunchables and some ART! 

Yes, this restaurant not only has tasty food and bevvies but they have a whole art studio set-up - with resident artist to help you along the way. Very cool stuff!

I am by no means an artist. But I was very excited to give it a rip. Lunch was charcuterie style - which I love. I had been asked to pre-order the evening before, and the menu options were pretty numerous, so typical to my nature, I just said "whatever the staff recommends..." (more on this later).

Here's what I got:

Nom nom nom

Cured meat? Check. Smoked cheese? Check. Tasty almonds? Check. IPA to wash it all down? Discount-Double-Check.

That's Aaron Rodgers, puttin' on his Green Belt oh yeah

So after this great lunch, and some great conversation, we all put on our smocks and got messy. Here's a pic after most of us had finished... you can see the wide variety of images that came out from the process. 

Brett and I had spent the previous day completing our MTBI step II - so I admit I had all that data that in the back of my mind as we painted. I am a INTP* - with the *caveat that I am really in-between E and I (extrovert and introvert) - two years ago I was a reasonably strong E but I now come through as a little "i" I. 

Some of the key characteristics about me that this analysis (re)confirmed include: 

- Strong preference for patterns, abstract concepts, theories - "jump to conclusions"

- Very strong preference to not over-plan anything - "let's see what happens"

- I work best under pressure, and will often delay starting a task to almost artificially create this "pressure"

- I prefer face-to-face communications over other styles

Some characteristics that the analysis suggested that really surprised me include:

- I present as uncaring and aloof, almost unemotional

- I do not share or express emotions with others

- I am contained, and very private about who I am, about my thoughts and feelings

- I naturally take a critical or critiquing stance with almost anything, and think it's ok to ask almost any question

- I embrace change for the sake of change and value originality very highly

Some of these traits are great for a Quality Leader, but some of them are definitely not great for someone who should be focused on coaching people to be great at change, at solving problems. I spent a lot of my career learning to hide my feelings because, in all honesty, a woman who operates in male-dominated fields (as I have since University) needs to not be perceived as overly emotional. And heck, if you want to be an effective Quality Leader, you can't be perceived as the one who harps on all the time about quality this and quality that - you have to DO not just SAY - all with a degree of reasonableness and common sense. So as someone who is very emotional, almost too emotional, I have had my feelings pushed down and down and inside and away from the surface in order to survive and be successful in my career. Now I need to unlearn that behaviour.

I will have to learn how to:

- Stop solving problems for people

- Start showing more emotion even if it feels unnatural

- Learn to actually ask less questions - try to let others ask before I do

- Not immediately think that change is the required solution

No idea how I'll do this, but I'll have to try if I want to become a good leader. 

AMac