Day 32: Showing Leadership != Being a Leader

Last Friday (Feb 7th) was a complicated and frustrating day at work. I had a conference call with a demanding and sometimes (seemingly) unreasonable customer in the morning, followed up with a healthy dose of what we call shenanigans, where coworkers, suppliers, customers seem to make crazy decisions without - I don't know - thinking first? These are the days when it feels like we move one step forward only to take a gazillion steps backwards. Sigh. 

There are certain personality types I don't do well with, and I know which ones they are, so I try to make certain I am not letting myself get triggered into emotional reactions (as opposed to rational thoughts). However, I was really really close to letting myself get emotionally wound up this day and reacting, not thinking. Sometimes, you need to blow off steam, sure I get it. But I don't really have the luxury to do that publicly.

I am expected to show leadership.

I'd like to stop and think about that phrase "show leadership" for a moment. 

Is this showing leadership? 

Or is this showing leadership?

I personally don't think that either really do a good job of demonstrating the concept of "showing leadership". 

I think it's good to be in front, sometimes, but you can't always lead people. Some times the view from the back is more telling. And heck, I don't need to get in the way of my team - me being out front can not only slow us down but not allow me the opportunity to look around and see the bigger picture.

Being out front, leading along the path - are you pulling (C'mon guys! This way!) or pushing (Get moving!)? There is an element of leading by example here, but what characteristics are we looking to set as the example? Certainty/decisiveness, perseverance, intelligence, homogeneity, conformity?

Being up front, on the stage - are you leading by example here too? Do like me and one day, you too could be here? What characteristics are we looking to set as the example? Power, seniority, charisma, influence, emotion?

I struggle with how to define leadership or "being a leader" because I'm not convinced that we can neatly sum it up to a definition. The OED states this as its definition of leadership: "the action of leading a group of people or an organization, or the ability to do this". 

So I get it: if I am in front of the group, acting as if I am leading them in some direction, then that's leadership. Cool, got it. I can totally fake that....

Wait a minute. 

Maybe that's the nut of it: anyone can fake leadership. Heck, my dog or my ten-year old daughter could meet the meaning of that definition. Maybe either would be a better leader than some I've encountered in my past. There's gotta be more here. How on earth am I supposed to try and show leadership if that's the low standard out there...? 

Ummm yeah....

I like this blurb I found from an old RAF officers manual, I think this is a good starting point:

So I'm going to try to think about this phrase: "unselfishness is the very root of courage" along side this one: "we few, we happy few, we band of brothers" when I am at work next. And I'm going to try to be a better leader at work.

AMac