Day 628: So close I can taste it

This may be one of my last blog posts as I am officially in the home stretch of my Master Black Belt program. I am so close to the end of what has been a really interesting, challenging, fun, frustrating, complicated ride. By this time next week, I will have delivered my final workshop, presented my final presentation, and screened my final video (and yes, I'll post it on this blog once screened). It's all coming together rather quickly, and this pressure-riven procrastinator loves it...

After it all winds up, then it's time for a vacation. We'll visit family and enjoy a break before the school year starts up, before skating season kicks off, and before going back to work. 


I'm kind of starting to wonder "what's next?" even before I pass the immediate milestone in front of me.

When racing, I'd always be nervous about the "what's next?" question - and more specifically about the period of time between ending one journey and beginning the next. It may be the lack of focus, direction that makes me queasy. It may be the fear of not having some goal that I can talk about with others; most of my friends and family know I'm always up to something, so a lot of our conversations start off like "what crazy thing are you training for now?" What on earth am I going to talk about? The upcoming federal election? The MLB stretch and how the Blue Jays are playing? Hm.

I have never been good at rest, at relaxing, at unplugging, at being still. It is something I have worked at over the years, and made some progress, but it is hard work for me. It's when I have a goal on which to focus that I feel still - it's almost counter-intuitive. 

Good thing I still have a crazy week in front of me.

AMac

Day 611: House Painting (or why I should be working on my final presentation but I'm not)

Today I'm painting the house. We've been working away at repainting it since last summer. We did subcontract out a big portion of it, but there are a lot of sections that need repair or other fixes before even putting a brush to it. Plus being a heritage house (1908) there are a lot of features that, while charming, do require a lot more time and attention to not ruin. So it's a slow process. We want to do it right (and not break the bank) and there's something worthwhile in doing it yourself. At the end, hopefully we'll be able to look at it and say something like "damn that's a fine looking house."

Yet I'm three-ish weeks away from my final two presentations for my MBB program, and I've barely started. I should be using the entire day to work on them. I know this is one of my weaknesses - I like to have 90% of the solution/story/idea done in my head before I put pen to paper (brush to wood?).

I know it's not the best way to do these things, and I know it drives some people nuts. But here I am painting instead of sitting at a computer screen drawing a blank at what to type. I'm hoping (or betting) that the idea will come to me while working on something completely removed from the topics of my presentations.

Or am I just procrastinating? I've always worked like this on things where I need to be creative. If it's straight-forward items, like updating a document or analysis, no problem. Heck, if it's going for a 20k run up a mountain, bring it on, the creative side of my brain isn't needed. But for some reason when trying to be... clever? creative? I find I take a loooong time. I get it done, but usually right at the last minute. It's like the right-side of my brain needs to be under some pressure, some time-bounded stress to perform. I like it when something clicks together and the story presents itself, almost like magic.

I found this graphic from Mercedes-Benz that seems to resonate with me:

While I get some enjoyment out of the right-brain activities, quite a lot in some cases, a deadline does not motivate me any more than the activity itself. In fact, I'd feel pretty confident in saying that a deadline probably makes me want to drag my heels more than usual. 

So back to painting, while I wait for that magic moment when I see the story present itself.

AMac